Be the Death of Me

Day of 6 White Rhythmic Mirror

Tone 6 (Rhythmic): creative power to Organize Equality, action of Balance

White Mirror (ETZNAB): Reflects and emphasizes Endlessness

I read astrological forecasts. (Probably not a big surprise if you've poked around this blog at all). I also read the news. I discriminate against both accordingly and on a case-by-case basis. Some news reporting is garbage, as are some forecasts. And then there are those that ring true.  

I've spoken to different people with varying beliefs on both subjects. And what I have said more or less consistently to everyone is, "I don't discriminate against the truth." Now, obviously I'm not perfect so this a generalized hope rather than an actual summation of my lifestyle. That being said, I have no problem with gathering knowledge, wisdom or truths from science, mysticism, elements, people, or evils. All these things can be teachers and, if experienced or encountered, will have influence of some kind. Even if that influence is apathy, disregard or dislike. 

So, long story short of the why: I wouldn't exist if the planets in our lovely little solar system had not aligned up exactly as they did, in that order, until "they were all" satisfied and became the round about motions we exist within today. If I only exist because the Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Mercury and the other planets formed just in the way they did, then I don't see why such planetary bodies would not have occasional influence over my state of mind. I breathe but for the planets, why should my moods not also be affected by them, who made me possible? (They don't spin because we tell them to). 

I rule nothing out if it makes sense. I also try and live my life with integrity, intention, transparency and communication. 

So, when I read PowerPath's new monthly astrological forecast for November--which has the theme "forgiveness"--I had a "Stop Moment" ("come to Jesus") with myself.   

I am a 29-year-old person, who--for most of my life--has been "healthy." I have not been to the hospital often, nor for anything severe, and I have eaten most whatever I wanted for the entirety of my existence. This is due to my good fortune more so than it has ever been because of my intentions. I have done physical activities in the past and I have limited sugars, but for many years I have eaten foods (and drank drinks) I have allergies to and I have eaten with no thought to true nutrition or actual dietary consistency for my body. After 29 years, that self-indulgence has taken its toll on my fortitude.  

Now, I'm not sure exactly why reading an astrological forecast with the theme of "forgiveness" made me have a Stop Moment and think about my diet and the way I have been and known myself for the past 29-years; but I do know that is what I needed to reflect on. 

Let me be clear: I'm not changing my diet on moral grounds and, for as long as I can remember, my modus operandi has largely been to ignore prolonged bodily discomfort for temporary edible pleasures. But today I spoke with a 5th generation Shaolin Monk and read this particular astrological forecast and it just clicked in my head that, by gawd fuck it, some shit has to change. And that shit is my own behavior against myself! That little shit is ME! Thus, whether or not the astrological reading is "true," it has proven useful and it is because of reading the forecast that I can even admit the following. 

Prisonview, Imprisoning You

Day of 6 White Rhythmic World-Bridger

Tone 6 (Rhythmic): Creative power to Organize Equality, action of Balance

White World-Bridger Seal (CIMI): Equalizes and emphasizes Death (Span Dimensions)

In the midst of a very engaging conversation with one of my oldest male friends, I came to a realization about our general perspective as a species.

The realization is this: Most people are socialized to limit and imprison themselves within themselves.

So it is that we are instructed, by one another, to live as prisoners (regardless of actual prison bars). Each of us is confined to our own cell (our body/worldview/consciousness), only viewing life through our self-constructed prison. Each of us looks through the prison bars of our self-constructed cell taking our vantage point for all of existence. 

Collectively speaking, we each do this actively first to ourselves and then to all things.

This conversation came about as a result of both of us discussing what we believe our life "contract" to be in simple terms. (I talked about this a few posts back in "Before Time"). Ultimately, I know my contract to involve "releasing the prisoner" as a central focus. I want to work with imprisoned populations (amongst other things). Specifically, I want to see prison populations engaged with one-on-one while they are in prison. I would like to know how each prisoner constructs their worldview and determine, along with them, what must be done in order to reconstruct that worldview. 

That being said, I am very much aware that imprisonment doesn't require a state sanctioned prison cell or even prison bars in order to be the reality of someone's situation. Even those of us who do not "break the law" tend to criminalize ourselves.

We each are our own walking courtroom; with a built in judge, jury and criminal. We each play all roles for ourself and we each decide the outcome of our existence based upon this evolving courtroom. (The 4 Agreements speaks about this in a way that I find is helpful). 

In my last post I wrote about form and function. Form and function are incredibly relevant to each of our prison experiences because it is our attachment to form that allows for our imprisonment. When our existence doesn't look the way we attempt to force it to look, we punish ourselves for it. We determine that our inability to fit the form we have prematurely chosen for ourself is equivalent to our inability to be worthy of being as we actually exist.

So, rather than exist in the ways that we dream to exist in--in a functional way that involves doing the work and participating in the things we each are genuinely interested in--we berate ourselves constantly for not existing in the form which we incorrectly assess as the only way we can live our desired existence. 

Therein lies the prisoner complex. From behind the prison bars of our prematurely chosen forms, we view the world as a hostile environment. We see others, in their own self-constructed prison cells determined by their own un-enlivened desires, and we judge them based on the forms that have assisted us in constructing our own cells.

Interestingly enough, we do not often see the prisons formed around these individuals because their prisons are not built from the same forms as our own--their minds. It is from this vantage point (or lack thereof) that we perceive all of existence and the entirety of its meaning.

Function Over Form

Day of 2 Yellow Lunar Warrior

Tone 2 (Lunar): Creative power to Polarize Challenge, action of Stabilizing

Yellow Warrior Seal (CIB): Questions and emphasizes Intelligence

Hello hello, it has been some time since I've written here. I've been busy experimenting with the subject of the title of this post. That is, function over form. I have had many conversations about this idea lately, interestingly enough particularly with men, and it is time for me to say something about it. 

We are riddled by forms. They are delivered to our doorstep, televisions, schools, existences. Society loves form, capitalism loves it more. Form is packaged for you and sold to you and impressed upon you. To be attractive you must look "this way," to be successful you must have "this thing," to seem intelligent you must acquire "this degree." 

Yet, it is never the form that is responsible for the happiness. 

It is always the function that the form provides expression for that brings the reward. 

What is function, then? Well, definitively speaking it is "the action for which a person or thing is specially fitted or used or for which a thing exists." A synonym for this particular definition is PURPOSE. You'll remember I talked about that last post, a few months ago. It is fitting then, that I take that one step further. 

Function provides form. Form often requires refining in order to provide for better function. The square wheel, for example, was not really useful. The form restricted the intended function of the creation. 

So it is with us. 

Often times, we attach ourselves to ideas of forms - often not even "our own" ideas (everything belongs to Existence first) - and we allow those misshaped forms to define our existences. This causes a lot of misery, being that ALL FUNCTIONALITY is being suppressed into a limited (and let's be honest, not very creative) number of "acceptable" forms. 

An example of how we commonly limit ourselves into restricted forms can be found in that we often attempt to force a desired result into the way "it should look," rather than focusing on HOW IT SHOULD BE. So, a concrete example: