Winter Solstice "2016"

Day of 4 Yellow Self-Existing Star

Tone 4 (Self-Existing): creative power to Define Form, action of Measuring

Yellow Star (LAMAT): Beautifies and emphasizes Elegance

I curated and penned my first write-up concerning an "astrological day" (such as Solstice, New Moon, Full Moon, etc.). You can find that writing below!

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*Sources will be below this write-up in case you wanna do further reading.

This is a write-up for the entire Winter (Solstice); 

Feel free to take your time reading it!*

0. The first thing that occurred to me was the number 4. 4th Season of the year, 4th dimensional Earth and 4 corners to the boxes we place ourselves in when actually we live in concentric circles. No surprise, then, that when I pulled each of the 3 cards I will be presenting below, the first card I pulled was #13, so 4. 

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1. From the Gaia Matrix Oracle we gain the wisdom of Card 13: Judge/Oracle 

We run through 4 stages in the learning process of this card...

a) Cosmic Law: The inevitable. The future of your actions. The response to your call or action, no matter how many years out. The last ripple. The entirety of creation coming together to meet you from moment to moment. The things you cannot make up yourself. The things you created but in their own rite. The things you've done when they're carrying on by themselves. 

b) Self-Conflict: The final battle of recognition. The process of taking bitter medicine. The looking in the mirror when you'd rather just run and yell. The incoherence of your circumstances in those moments when you cannot deal. The world rushing up to meet you when you are convinced you are all by yourself. Dealing with your self. Tending to your own problems. Knowing you need help. 

c) Trials: The tests life presents you with so you can prove to yourself and existence whether you've actually learned something you claim to have gone through already, know already and gotten over. The things that fall apart regardless of how many times you've convinced yourself that you did the thing that needed doing to fix them. The going through hell. The knowing what you've made of yourself and, thus, of what you are actually capable. The making of your current self. 

d) Conscience: The acceptance of your trials. The quiet moments of self reflection that you don't battle. The wondering what else you didn't know about yourself and being willing to find out. The hearing other things than the voice you've always known to be "yourself." The wondering without knowing or needing the answer. The thing that shows up all by itself without your constant "tending" and forced "help." The letting; letting happen, letting go, letting something else. The reward for doing battle against what you've known to be your self. 

Some good quotes from the write-up on this card that may prove useful to you...

"The JUDGE/ORACLE archetype is that power of awareness and justice within you that enables the finest tuning to your own karma, or accumulation of past thoughts, feelings and actions. Some thoughts and deeds may be positive and others negative."

"Now is a time when you can see exactly the source of error in yourself, and by this precise insight, any blind spots will be revealed and will vanish through your confrontation of them."

"There are seven minds in the heart and seven hearts in the mind." (How many do you allow yourself to go through before making a decision you consider important? How many reflections do you allow yourself before you decide?)

"Examine your life, asking always, 'What is at the source of why I thought or did that?' Ask deeply of all the things you have hidden and don't want to see."

Be the Death of Me

Day of 6 White Rhythmic Mirror

Tone 6 (Rhythmic): creative power to Organize Equality, action of Balance

White Mirror (ETZNAB): Reflects and emphasizes Endlessness

I read astrological forecasts. (Probably not a big surprise if you've poked around this blog at all). I also read the news. I discriminate against both accordingly and on a case-by-case basis. Some news reporting is garbage, as are some forecasts. And then there are those that ring true.  

I've spoken to different people with varying beliefs on both subjects. And what I have said more or less consistently to everyone is, "I don't discriminate against the truth." Now, obviously I'm not perfect so this a generalized hope rather than an actual summation of my lifestyle. That being said, I have no problem with gathering knowledge, wisdom or truths from science, mysticism, elements, people, or evils. All these things can be teachers and, if experienced or encountered, will have influence of some kind. Even if that influence is apathy, disregard or dislike. 

So, long story short of the why: I wouldn't exist if the planets in our lovely little solar system had not aligned up exactly as they did, in that order, until "they were all" satisfied and became the round about motions we exist within today. If I only exist because the Sun, Moon, Jupiter, Mercury and the other planets formed just in the way they did, then I don't see why such planetary bodies would not have occasional influence over my state of mind. I breathe but for the planets, why should my moods not also be affected by them, who made me possible? (They don't spin because we tell them to). 

I rule nothing out if it makes sense. I also try and live my life with integrity, intention, transparency and communication. 

So, when I read PowerPath's new monthly astrological forecast for November--which has the theme "forgiveness"--I had a "Stop Moment" ("come to Jesus") with myself.   

I am a 29-year-old person, who--for most of my life--has been "healthy." I have not been to the hospital often, nor for anything severe, and I have eaten most whatever I wanted for the entirety of my existence. This is due to my good fortune more so than it has ever been because of my intentions. I have done physical activities in the past and I have limited sugars, but for many years I have eaten foods (and drank drinks) I have allergies to and I have eaten with no thought to true nutrition or actual dietary consistency for my body. After 29 years, that self-indulgence has taken its toll on my fortitude.  

Now, I'm not sure exactly why reading an astrological forecast with the theme of "forgiveness" made me have a Stop Moment and think about my diet and the way I have been and known myself for the past 29-years; but I do know that is what I needed to reflect on. 

Let me be clear: I'm not changing my diet on moral grounds and, for as long as I can remember, my modus operandi has largely been to ignore prolonged bodily discomfort for temporary edible pleasures. But today I spoke with a 5th generation Shaolin Monk and read this particular astrological forecast and it just clicked in my head that, by gawd fuck it, some shit has to change. And that shit is my own behavior against myself! That little shit is ME! Thus, whether or not the astrological reading is "true," it has proven useful and it is because of reading the forecast that I can even admit the following. 

People Are The Worst

Day of 1 White Magnetic Wind

Tone 1 (Magnetic): creative power to Unify Purpose, action of Attraction

White Wind (IK): Communicates and emphasizes Spirit

People are the worst. I say this with humor, only because otherwise it would be all too depressing. Not only are people the worst but, as a species, we're actually not that interested in existing. 

Humans are terrible at being themselves. In fact, I would argue that most aim to avoid being completely genuine in the truest sense of the word "genuine." Actually, scratch the word genuine. I just looked it up and it comes from weird and convoluted origins. What I am trying to say is that people, in general, and as a whole, are not authentic. We are not encouraged to be authentic in our modern world(s). 

We are encouraged to perform our identities, to conform our identities, to identify through commodities and to cross off an arbitrary checklist of "how" to "properly" age through the human process. Humans, of all the things we could and might have done and been, have ultimately decided the "best" way to exist is to make being human into a business only of concern to humans. 

This is completely bizarre to me. 

We have created cities and systems of living that all but eliminate other living things - other aspects of nature - unless those things conform to OUR desires of how those things should be. Trees/Plants? Fuck them. Animals? They can go hang themselves. Water? BULLSHIT. Air quality? That sounds like a personal problem! 

Outside of our human constructions, our human ideas, our human responses, there is a living organism called THE EARTH. It is what our species has come to call a planet, orbiting around a ball of fire we have come to call a star, in the middle of an infinite and unfathomable expanse we have come to call the universe. We would not exist as we know us if not for these entities that came before us.  

This is the realest reality there actually is. This is one of the ultimate realities that exists not only for humans, but for all living things on our Earth/Organism/Planet. It's extremely significant. Further, it is as significant as all the things that humans have decided (over time) are important to us. 

Despite our species' desire to believe the contrary, humans are not that important. 

I listed 4(ish) other existing things on this planet: Trees/Plants, Animals, Water and Air/Oxygen. If any of these 4(ish) things became extinct, EVERYTHING ELSE WOULD DIE. If humans became extinct (if we all just rolled over and died one day), everything else would live. We are the last factor in the Earth Equation and we are also the least important to the Earth Equation from an existence perspective. 

I do not believe it is within a human being's nature to be such a pain in the ass to everything else. Unequivocally or "naturally." It is my opinion that our assholeishness is a choice. Which, considering how fortunate we are to even EXIST as a random unimportant (meat-based) species, really just shows how selfish we are. 

The Road to Awe

Day of 1 Yellow Magnetic Seed

Tone 1 (Magnetic): creative power to Unify Purpose, action of Attraction

Yellow Seed (KAN): Targets and emphasizes Flowering (Ideas)

There are many types of love and many points along the spectrum of love. Yet, in our modern societies, we tend to fixate on only a few expressions of what love is; those being national, parental, familial, communal, friendly, romantic and personal love/loving. 

But what do we know about love itself? Not simply through experience or conversation, but of its origin; as a concept, as a word, as a thing. 

The concept popularly known as Love is attached to the word. The primary definition of the word love begins, "an intense feeling of deep affection," then goes on to, "a person or thing that one loves," before finishing off at, "feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone)." 

The sense of this word finds its origins in this way: 

From Old English lufu, of Germanic origin; from an Indo-European root shared by Sanskrit lubhyati 'desires,' Latin libet 'it is pleasing,' libido 'desire.'

So from knowing this, we understand that the most popular love - romantic love - is derived from a sense of desire, being pleased and feeling something. It begins as a noun, something more personal, but can also find expression as a verb. In regards to someone or something, desiring them/it, pleasing them/it - these are acts of loving. Specifically, of loving yourself and - when consensual - loving others. 

From here on out, we will call this aforementioned type of loving "High Love." As in higher along the spectrum of love, as in more difficult to achieve and maintain, as in it can make you feel high, as in a more personal love and as in romantic love. 

High Love is not the love of parents-to-children, or children-to-parents (ideally); nor is it the love of family members (though it co-creates parents, families and children). That being said, High Love does feature prominently in communal, friendly and nationalistic love. 

Community, friends and nations are clusters of concepts that overlay to assist an individual in feeling like, or knowing that, they belong or do not belong. Such groups shape early desires and early concepts of what is pleasing.

On Communication

Day of 11 Blue Spectral Eagle

Tone 11 (Spectral): Creative power to Dissolve Liberation, action of Release 

Blue Spectral Eagle (MEN): Creates and emphasizes Vision

I'm of the opinion that communication is the primary key to human liberation. Obviously, communication would only mean so much without action. But, unlike our ancestors, I think modern peoples are influenced by waves of communication first, which they act upon after. 

In other words, there is a lot going on in the modern person's cranium. A lot of conversations, a lot of images, a lot of words, a lot of ideas and a lot of impressions. Comparatively, I suspect our ancestors had to be much more aware of the way things were outside of their heads. Their inner dialogues were likely, originally, quite basic. 

"Aware. Hungry. Cold. Horny. Scared." 

As language, dialects and communication advanced, those thought processes and inner dialogues got more complex. However, before widespread media - including advertisements - human beings who couldn't read were more or less left to their actual experiences to inform their thoughts. Conversations they overheard or talked about, experiences they watched happened or had happen to themselves directly, music they were close enough to experience, places they could know about only if they traveled to them or someone they encountered talked about it and, of course, dreams. 

Today, in our modern-est of modern societies, this is far from the case. Many of us live in actualized or growing concrete jungles. Many people go entire days without seeing anything more natural to this Earthly experience than the passing of the Moon and the Sun. They don't see oceans, lakes, trees, mountains, the actual ground/soil or animals in nature. They are completely apart from the land they are on. They are conditioned to have a small perspective of what it means to be on this planet in that their impressions of Existence are 95% human in product and experience. We're not the only things here and it is healthy to remember that fact. 

Beyond that, the modern person is bombarded by imagery, media, noise and words constructed in order to produce certain effects. Increasingly, our personal human experience is made to feel like it is less and less of our own doing, of our own choices, or of our own experience. 

Yet, like those ancestors who had to cross far expanses of land and water, we are still acutely aware of ourselves. We are just becoming more and more desensitized to the feeling of being within ourselves. And herein lies the disservice.

Prisonview, Imprisoning You

Day of 6 White Rhythmic World-Bridger

Tone 6 (Rhythmic): Creative power to Organize Equality, action of Balance

White World-Bridger Seal (CIMI): Equalizes and emphasizes Death (Span Dimensions)

In the midst of a very engaging conversation with one of my oldest male friends, I came to a realization about our general perspective as a species.

The realization is this: Most people are socialized to limit and imprison themselves within themselves.

So it is that we are instructed, by one another, to live as prisoners (regardless of actual prison bars). Each of us is confined to our own cell (our body/worldview/consciousness), only viewing life through our self-constructed prison. Each of us looks through the prison bars of our self-constructed cell taking our vantage point for all of existence. 

Collectively speaking, we each do this actively first to ourselves and then to all things.

This conversation came about as a result of both of us discussing what we believe our life "contract" to be in simple terms. (I talked about this a few posts back in "Before Time"). Ultimately, I know my contract to involve "releasing the prisoner" as a central focus. I want to work with imprisoned populations (amongst other things). Specifically, I want to see prison populations engaged with one-on-one while they are in prison. I would like to know how each prisoner constructs their worldview and determine, along with them, what must be done in order to reconstruct that worldview. 

That being said, I am very much aware that imprisonment doesn't require a state sanctioned prison cell or even prison bars in order to be the reality of someone's situation. Even those of us who do not "break the law" tend to criminalize ourselves.

We each are our own walking courtroom; with a built in judge, jury and criminal. We each play all roles for ourself and we each decide the outcome of our existence based upon this evolving courtroom. (The 4 Agreements speaks about this in a way that I find is helpful). 

In my last post I wrote about form and function. Form and function are incredibly relevant to each of our prison experiences because it is our attachment to form that allows for our imprisonment. When our existence doesn't look the way we attempt to force it to look, we punish ourselves for it. We determine that our inability to fit the form we have prematurely chosen for ourself is equivalent to our inability to be worthy of being as we actually exist.

So, rather than exist in the ways that we dream to exist in--in a functional way that involves doing the work and participating in the things we each are genuinely interested in--we berate ourselves constantly for not existing in the form which we incorrectly assess as the only way we can live our desired existence. 

Therein lies the prisoner complex. From behind the prison bars of our prematurely chosen forms, we view the world as a hostile environment. We see others, in their own self-constructed prison cells determined by their own un-enlivened desires, and we judge them based on the forms that have assisted us in constructing our own cells.

Interestingly enough, we do not often see the prisons formed around these individuals because their prisons are not built from the same forms as our own--their minds. It is from this vantage point (or lack thereof) that we perceive all of existence and the entirety of its meaning.

Function Over Form

Day of 2 Yellow Lunar Warrior

Tone 2 (Lunar): Creative power to Polarize Challenge, action of Stabilizing

Yellow Warrior Seal (CIB): Questions and emphasizes Intelligence

Hello hello, it has been some time since I've written here. I've been busy experimenting with the subject of the title of this post. That is, function over form. I have had many conversations about this idea lately, interestingly enough particularly with men, and it is time for me to say something about it. 

We are riddled by forms. They are delivered to our doorstep, televisions, schools, existences. Society loves form, capitalism loves it more. Form is packaged for you and sold to you and impressed upon you. To be attractive you must look "this way," to be successful you must have "this thing," to seem intelligent you must acquire "this degree." 

Yet, it is never the form that is responsible for the happiness. 

It is always the function that the form provides expression for that brings the reward. 

What is function, then? Well, definitively speaking it is "the action for which a person or thing is specially fitted or used or for which a thing exists." A synonym for this particular definition is PURPOSE. You'll remember I talked about that last post, a few months ago. It is fitting then, that I take that one step further. 

Function provides form. Form often requires refining in order to provide for better function. The square wheel, for example, was not really useful. The form restricted the intended function of the creation. 

So it is with us. 

Often times, we attach ourselves to ideas of forms - often not even "our own" ideas (everything belongs to Existence first) - and we allow those misshaped forms to define our existences. This causes a lot of misery, being that ALL FUNCTIONALITY is being suppressed into a limited (and let's be honest, not very creative) number of "acceptable" forms. 

An example of how we commonly limit ourselves into restricted forms can be found in that we often attempt to force a desired result into the way "it should look," rather than focusing on HOW IT SHOULD BE. So, a concrete example:

Before Time

Day of 9 Blue Solar Storm

Tone 9 (Solar): Creative power to Pulse Intention, action of Realizing

Blue Storm Seal (CAUAC): Catalyzes and emphasizes Self-Generation

I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you a bit about what I think takes place before Earthly Incarnation.... Yes, I do believe something takes place for babies before incarnation aside from coitus.

I have titled this post Before Time because I believe time only exists (is perceived or experienced) in the lower dimensions, which we hominids might associate with Energy Centers or Chakras. The lower dimensions being: 1 (awareness, basic instinct, origins including ancestry, sexual orientation, core principles, behavioral functions, etc.), 2 (growth, emotional temperament, origins of self, sexual preferences, unique identity formation, culturing by immediate placement - i.e. Planet, Landscape, "Continent," "Country," "Society," "Family" - etc.), and 3 (self-awareness, relation to social groups, sense of placement in Existence, origins of purpose within society, conceptions of connectivity to other-selfs, etc.).

When we arrive at the 4th Dimension/Energy Center/Chakra, we step upon the threshold of the "Gateway." I call it the Gateway because it is the threshold before one is initiated into the experiential work of the upper Dimensions/Energy Centers/Chakras. As well, when one crosses the Gateway, their experience of Free Will is taken to a new stratosphere; which will bring us back to the title of this post, Before Time, after I finish up this thought on the upper dimensions.

The reason that I believe the 4th Energy Center to be the "Gateway" is because the 4th Energy Center encompasses Universal or Unconditional Love, self Love and Understanding of the connectivity of Existence.

This is a HUGE deal.

It is difficult, particularly in a species socialized such as ours, to cross this Gateway. We as a species do not, as precedent, socialize one another to be understanding, loving of self or loving of other-selfs. We also, as a species, do not facilitate an understanding of the purpose of Existence that is connected to everything outside of us. We do not, as a contemporary species, respect the land we live on, or the plants and trees that thrive on and clean this planet. We do not, as precedent, respect the rocks and minerals that permit us to build and to heal ourselves; we do not respect the oceans, rivers and lakes that provide us with sustenance or the animals that are cohabitants of this planet. We do not, as a contemporary species, respect the air that we breath or the bodies that we inhabit for this brief Earth Cycle.

Conscious Infinity, Intelligent Energy/Intelligent Infinity, Conscious Energy

Day of 8 Yellow Galactic Sun

Tone 8 (Galactic): Creative power to Harmonize Integrity, action of Modeling

Yellow Sun Seal (AHAU): Enlightens and emphasizes Universal Fire

I cannot say exactly what the line up was of Creation, but I suspect it was a combination of Conscious Infinity begetting Intelligent Energy or Intelligent Infinity begetting Conscious Energy. Really they are not divided, so I think they are more interchangeable than comparative.

Whatever is said to determine The Cosmos, they only exist because of Infinity. Infinity is an eternal presence. How could it not give birth to Consciousness? Infinity is forever in and of itself. Infinity is forever with itself and together as one Self. Conscious Infinity is one constant Being Of. Infinity is constantly Being. 

Is it any wonder, then, that you cannot "kill" Consciousness? If anything, you can only depart "with" it. And I say "with it" and not "from it" because you cannot be away from Consciousness - we are limitless consciousness' (granted we aren't the finest example, but we're also not very observant or imaginative as a socialized species). "With" is defined as indicating separation or removal in this context. That is, the removal of our consciousness' from Self's Consciousness; and the removal of ourselves from that limitless consciousness. The significance of departing "with" over "from" is also because the choice is made on both sides. Conscious Infinity (Self's Consciousness) allows all of itself freedom to express its experience in whatever way it decides and is capable of in any given moment. We, being the offspring of Self's Consciousness in the constant progression of Conscious Infinity, are extended this choice. We are equally free to make uninformed choices as we are to make informed choices. (On Earth we just socialize one another to continually make uninformed choices).

As well, in 3D formulated consciousness, we learn the expression of unique choices made of our own will. So this is really the time for us to "decide" upon things for our-Self ("You") and consequently for our other-Selfs ("Everything Else").